You have probably heard that Asian languages in general– and perhaps Japanese in particular– are very concerned with politeness. This is indeed true, and politeness is very complicated, especially for Western foreigners. If you speak a European language, you may be aware of polite usage– German, for instance, uses a polite pronoun (Sie) that takes plural verb forms even when used in the singular. However, I assure you that even this sort of training is totally inadequate for understanding politeness levels in Japanese.
It is not an understatement to say that different levels of politeness are like different languages in Japanese. The verb forms are completely different. For instance, the past-tense normal-polite form of the verb yomu (to read) is yomimashita. The casual form is yonda. The exalted form is oyomi ni natta (or oyomi ni narimashita). Totally different.
I am not even going to attempt to explain all the cultural nuances of politeness in Japanese. In fact, I don’t even know them as a gaijin– you have to live in Japan for an extended period to fully grasp the details (and you may never fully grasp them as a foreigner). What I will do here is run through some of the basics so you have a general idea.
There are at least four levels of politeness in Japanese, with some subtleties on top of that. These are difficult to fully master as they are, and it’s made worse by the fact that nobody calls the levels by the same names. I will attempt to list the names you might hear, but don’t be surprised if you hear others.
First is rude speech, or blunt speech, that you wouldn’t use in a normal conversation.
Then there is casual, abrupt, or “children’s” speech. It is what children learn before they are taught polite language in school.
The language you will use most often is polite language, also called normal-polite. Luckily, the final verb forms in this politeness level are extremely simple– they all end in -masu or -desu(or -mashou or -deshou). This language is “safe”; it is always polite. It is used by adults who are not part of the same in-group or who don’t know each other well. In companies, it is used frequently for communication that is just a bit up the chain of command, such as when talking to your boss (farther up, you must use honorific language).
Finally, there is honorific language, which is sometimes simply called formal language.
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Nouns
If the noun is pronounced with a kun (Japanese) reading (see the chapter on Reading and Writing), then you can make it into an honorific form by adding an initial o-. An example isokane (“money” or “gold”), which is routinely stated in this form. If the noun is pronounced with an on (Chinese) reading, then you add the prefix go-, such as in the word gohan (han is cooked rice). These nouns are exalted when they refer to someone else and humble when they relate to you.
By the way, you shouldn’t just create your own honorific nouns. There are specific ones that are always used with the prefix, and others where it would sound very odd to do that. Wait until you hear someone else use an honorific noun before trying it on your own.
Also, there are some polite forms of common words that are actually different words. For example, ashita (tomorrow) is a common word, but in a formal situation you may hear its more polite form, myounichi. These types of words are broadly called teinei, and I’m hardly doing them justice here. You will also hear shoushou instead of sukoshior chotto (a little) andhonjitsu instead of kyou (today).
Adjectives
These are made honorific by the addition of special endings. I am considering only -i adjectives here (see the chapter on Adjectives). It’s just a simple substitution: -oi and -ai become -ou(long o); -ii and -uibecome -uu (long u). So atarashii (“new”) becomes atarashuu, while osoi (“late” or “slow”) becomes osou. Then, instead of tacking on desu to make the adjective polite, you substitute (de) gozaimasuor (de) irasshaimasu (these are the honorific forms of (de) aru; see below).
Verbs
Here’s where the fun begins. There are humble verbs and exalted verbs, the latter of which can often be said in two ways. And unlike typical Japanese verbs, for which there are only two irregular forms, honorific verbs have quite a few exceptions.
Humble. Most humble verb forms come from taking the -masu stem of the verb and attaching o- to the front and the verb suru to the end. So the humble form of kaku (to write), isokaki suru, which would be used at the end of a polite sentence as okaki shimasu. You use this form when speaking about your own actions to a superior. (You are humbling yourself in their presence).
To be even more humble, use the humble form of suru, which is itasu. So you could say okaki itashimasu.
Let’s look at the verb suwaru, to sit down.
Impolite, true command form: Suware (don’t use this as a matter of course)
Casual: Suwari nasai
Polite: Suwatte kudasai
Honorific: Osuwari kudasai
